Charts
by PuppetofDreams
Summary: Fai makes a stunning discovery one day and decides to do something about it. Now all he needed was paper......


"Ne, Kuro-pon, I'm going to protect you!"

Kurogane glared at the beaming mage in annoyance and retorted, "Why the hell would you do something like that?! I don't need to be _protected_."

Fai's smile grew as he sang, "Silly Kuro-wan! Everyone needs to be protected! And it has come to my attention that you are the only one among our group without someone to protect you!"

"Uhn," Mokona jumped out from behind Fai, "we even have a chart to prove it!"

Before the ninja could ask why they even _had_ a chart(protecting people was a relatively simple task, right?), Fai and Mokona disappeared into the room's walk-in closet. It was several moments before they returned, dragging a poster that nearly scrapped the ceiling and almost didn't fit into the room due to its width. Almost. It was as if they had brought in another wall, Kurogane mused. Hmmm, that could actually come in handy...

"Okay! Now, let's start with Syaoran-kun," Fai began, pointing to one of the names near the top. "Syaoran-kun protects Sakura-chan and is protected by Kuro-puppy. Sakura-chan is also protected by" Here, Fai took a deep breath. Uh-oh. This was a bad sign. And, judging from where he was pointing on the damn chart, Kurogane was going to be here for a loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnngggg time. If there was any point in his life that Kurogane had to ignore Fai to save what little sanity he had left, it was now. Starting ignore sequence in 3...2...1 1/2 -

"Chun-Yan-chan, Shougo-kun, Kishim-san -"

DAMMIT! Why did the ignore sequence have to have a 1 1/2 in it?! Kurogane cursed to himself silently, then came to an abrupt halt as realization struck. Could he actually, possibly, finally be ignoring that hell-bent blond nuisance?

"- Touya-kun -"

Why is it that the best things in life are taken away from you when you finally learn to appreciate them? Kurogane swore that he would discover the answer to this...right after he beat Fai for being a dumbass. I'll humor him and lure him into a false sense of security, he thought, then I'll kill him!

_But if you kill him, your power will decrease!_

Oh dear god, the voices in his head were starting to sound like Fai!

_Ne, Kuro-sama, don't you think it's a little odd that I exist in the first place? I'm a sign that your sanity is decreasing! Of course I'm going to sound like the Embodiment of Insanity himself!_

What's worse, the voice had the same cheeky grin as the mage as well. Kurogane didn't even want to think about how he knew what a voice's facial expression was, just in case it encouraged said 'Voice of the Damned' to stay.

_Wah, does Kuro-muu not like me?_

Kurogane was faced with a difficult decision: ignore Fai or ignore the voice. It was hard to ignore one, but ignoring both was an impossible task! As the voice had already stated, both of them were insane. The big question was which one of them was more insane?

_I think Kuro-ran and Fai-Fai look cute together!_

...The voice has got to go. So, for the first(and last time) of Kurogane's life, he was going to pay attention to what Fai was saying.

" -Kuro-chi, Mokona-chan, and myself!" Appareantly, Fai was just finishing the list of Sakura's protectors. Joy. "Now, Mokona and I are protected by Kuro-min and Syaoran-kun's valiant efforts! So, as you can see, everyone is protected by someone except for Kuro-pon! That's why I have brought it upon myself to do so myself! So" Fai gestured towards the chart, "Do you understand now?"

Kurogane blinked. Once more. Third times the lucky charm. Nope, still there. It made him a little ashamed that he hadn't noticed it before.

"Baka, you do know I can't read your world's writing, ne?"

Fai blinked as well for a moment before glancing back at the chart. "Oh yeah..."

Kurogane sighed and said, "Whatever, 'protect me' or whatever it was you were ranting about earlier. I'm going to go and get rid of the voices." With that, Kurogane left.

Fai and Mokona looked at each other. "Voices? I didn't hear anything," Mokona said with a small frown. Fai thought for a moment before he broke out into his usual grin. "I think that was Kuro-tan's way of telling us he still doesn't understand! So, because I care so much for Kuro-rin, I'm going to redo the chart in a way he'll understand!"

And so, they dispersed. Kurogane was left to deal with a know KuroFai obsessed voice that stemmed from his growing insanity and Fai was busy trying to redo the unusually large chart so that his simple-minded Kuro-mei would understand.

It was going to be a long night.

oO0Oo

"Hime?"

"Hai, Syaron-kun?"

"Where did Kurogane-san and Fai-san go? They were supposed to meet us a couple hours ago, but Fai-san said he had to tell Kurogane-san something..."

"Demo...I just saw Kurogane-san a little while ago."

"Honto?"

"Hai."

"..."

"Syaoran-kun?"

"Hai, hime?"

"What's 'lovey-dovey'?"

.:Owari:.

A/N: This is my first one-shot. I'm taking a little break from Maybe at the moment, however this popped into my mind and it refused to leave until I wrote it. That last part came from the anime Princess Tutu where Uzura, a doll in the form of a toddler, hears people gossiping and one of them mentions 'lovey-dovey'. She then preceeds to ask a very embaressed Fakir what 'lovey-dovey' is.

Please review! Who knows, maybe it'll make Kurogane's voices go away! Or it could have the opposite effect and...I'm not going to finish that train of thought. So many pleasing possibilities! XD


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